Role to the Play
by Phantom Rose-3399
Summary: Just a roleplay in between me and my cousin teddylupin-snape... Beware of: OCs, Self-inserts, possible OOC-ness and a whole lot of random. And who knows, maybe some characters from other shows/books will show up too.
1. Chapter 1

**Phantom-Rose: **So... welcome to the crazy world that is me and my cousins minds... Really, this is just a huge sack of awk, so... *Shrugs* it might be amusing to you, or it might end up being the bane of the existence of the DPxHP crossover section... Whatever. But let's get down to buisness. Christie Knight is my OC, a halfa (Call her a sue and I will kill you), and, by this timeline, 16. She's friends with Danny, too (Hence why she has his number).She doesn't live in Amity, but in a small town in the same state: Wing Haven.

I'll be handling all the DP stuff (My cousin hasn't really watched any of the episodes, so...) and she'll deal with the Potterhead stuff. And comments on that matter, Baggy?

**Teddy-Lupin: **Well, I just want to warn our viewers that this was formed in the middle of the night, and at parts, we could barely get through it because of our fits of insane laughter.

**Phantom-Rose: **Well, that is true... Hope you enojoy~ (And that I don't alienate the few people who've actually read my story...)

**_Mandatory Disclaimer:_ We don't own the characters for Harry Potter or Danny Phantom, but I (Phantom-Rose) do own the OC Christie Knight. ;)**

* * *

_Characters so far:_

**Christie Knight (OC)**

**Draco Malfoy**

**Voldemort**

**Bellatrix Lestrange**

**Fenrir Greyback**

**Harry Potter**

**Danny Fenton**

**Horace Slughorn**

**Severus Snape**

**Minerva McGonagall**

**Filius Flitwick**

**Pomona Sprout**

**Gargoyle**

**Dumbledore's Portrait**

**Hermione Granger**

**Ron Weasley (Roonil Wazlib)**

**Rubeus Hagrid**

-LET THE STORY BEGIN!-

**Christie:** *Teleports* Hey! It worked! *Looks around* Where the heck am I?

**Draco:** Hogwarts. Who are you? *raises eyebrow*

**Christie: ***Nervously looks around* Ummm…. Christie Knight… Where the heck is Hogwarts?

**Draco: **Hm. Well. Hogwarts is here. I would have assumed that you'd have figured that out by now. What a muggle.

**Christie: ***Glares* And a muggle would be…?

**Draco: ***Sighs and rolls eyes, getting up* Well, I suppose you can work that one out on your own. *Starts to walk away*

**Christie** *Follows after him angrily* Look. I need to know what country this is so I can teleport back home! Would you at least give me the courtesy of that!?

**Draco: ***Smirks and turns back towards the door* Goodbye.

**Christie: ***Growls and runs up to him, grabbing him by his arm* Look, mister. I'm not gonna leave you alone, not until you tell me where I am! And trust me, you can't get away all that easily from me.

**Draco: **Watch me. *Yanks arm away* *Storms out of room, slamming door* *Vanishes with a pop; appears at Malfoy Manor* Finally! Some peace and quiet away from all those prying questions. *Sighs* Muggles.

*Still at Hogwarts*

**Christie: ***Growls and follows through door* Dude, you are so gonna- What? Where'd he go?

**Draco: ***Struts into main room, sits in armchair by fire.*

**Chrsistie: ***Looks around classroom* Ummm… There are no other doors out of here, so… How the heck did he- *Looks at window* He did not. *Runs up to window, but sees nothing* Strange. No way a kid like that could have jumped out a window this high, and gotten away so fast.

**Draco: ***Puts hand in pocket, trying to pull out wand; finds nothing* *Vanishes again, back to Hogwarts* I can't believe I left my wand! *Rolls eyes and makes way back to the classroom he just left* *Sees Christie looking out window* Tries to pull out wand to defend himself, again realizing he'd lost it*

**Christie: ***Tenses, slowly turns around* Well, look who's back.

**Draco: ***What do you want? *Sneers* trying to find the best way to fall out the window? I can help there. *pushes Christie out window, standing back and grinning*

**Christie: ***Screams, before remembering she can fly* *Flies up* You can't rid of me that easily.

**Draco:** *Dashes back into classroom, snatching wand up off floor**Runs back to window and sees Christie flying; aims a curse, misses*

**Chrisite: **Whoa! … H-how'd you do that?

**Draco: ***Walks off towards the dungeons* Just stay away from me.

**Christie: **Stares after him* Oh come on! Come back here! *Phases through window and flies after him* Wait up, you jerk!

**Draco: ***Starts to run down the corridor* *Turns a corner, then disappears into great hall, sitting among the Slytherins*

**Christie:***Follows after him, sees GH* *Yelps, then turns invisible* That's a lotta people…

**Draco:** *Sees Christie enter GH* *Stands up, waves wand and tables vanish* Well, well, well. *Everyone walks towards the walls, watching closely* *Raises eyebrow* Avada-

**Harry: ***Stands up* Expelliarmus! *Points wand at Malfoy*

**Draco: **Not you, Potter! AVADA KEDAVRA!

*Harry drops dead*

**Draco: ***Turns to Christie* You next, then.

**Snape:** Malfoy, who are you talking to! *Completely ignores that he just killed Harry*

**Draco: ***Smiles at Harry's dead body* Oh, nothing. ...Professor.

**Christie: ***Growls and turns visible* Dude, you are so getting it! I don't know what you did to that kid, but I don't think it's anything good. *Aims ectoblast at Malfoy*

**Draco: ***Aims wand at Christie* Crucio! *touches Dark Mark* We'll see how you look after this!

**Christie: ***Fires ecto just then* *Curse goes through it; curse hits Chris* AHHHHH! *Falls on ground*

**Draco: ***Walks forward over Christie's writhing body* *Sneers down at her* He's coming, girl.

**Christie: ***Grits teeth, thinking '_Can't go rage now, can't go rage…_'* *Eyes snap open, they are full aqua-green*

*Voldemort appears*

*death eaters come in through the doors to the GH*

**Voldemort: ***Walks forward, over writhing body* Well, Draco. What do we have here?

**Draco: ***Says nothing, chances a glance up at Voldemort*

**Christie: ***Finally stands up * You... are so… getting it. *Flies at Malfoy really freaking fast*

**Draco: ***Is taken aback, taking a few steps backwards* Avada Kedavra! Come on! Die already!

**Bellatrix:** *Enters GH, pulling wand out from under cloak* *walks over behind Voldemort* Well, well, well, Draco. What is this?

**Draco: ***Looks up at Bellatrix* Just some Muggle. How that ever got in here…*Rolls eyes again*

**Bellatrix ***Eyes look over to Harry's dead body* Well, very nice, Draco.

**Voldemort: ***Evilly laughs, walking over to the Harry body on the floor* *kicks at Harry with bare foot, then turns back to Draco* *Smiles*

**Draco: **Well, I might as well... Morsmordre! *Dark Mark appears over Hogwarts, visible through ceiling*

**Christie: ***Finally -after a few minutes- tackles Malfoy*

**Draco: ***Sends a jet of red light up at Christie, she falls off him, writhing again* CRUCIO!

**Christie: ***Passes out after writhing a bit*

*some noise breaks out from the previously silent watchers along the walls*

**Voldemort: ***Looks around the hall, seeing hundreds of small children people* AVADA KEDAVRA *Moves wand in a sweeping movement, killing all of the students* HA! But what shall we do with... that. *Points to Christie*

-A few hours later, in the Dungeon-

**Christie:** *Wakes up* Uhhggg… What the crud happened? *Looks around* And why the heck am I in what looks like a dungeon from a horror movie?

**Bellatrix: ***Walks towards the girl behind the bars in the dungeon* Well, well, well. The muggle. *Hatred boils up inside her* Crucio! *Smiles evilly watching her victim*

**Christie: ***Growls and makes ghost shield* Will someone just tell me what the heck a freaking muggle is!?

**Bellatrix: ***Giggles and walks away, back towards Voldemort* Anyone want some of the Muggle?

**Greyback: ***Walks toward Bellatrix's voice* Did someone say Muggle? Ughh! They taste disgusting! Worse than the mudbloods! *Turns into a werewolf and lunges towards the 'that'*

**Christie: ***Yelps and dodges, phasing through wall* *Sighs* Thank goodness. I really need to get out of here… *Flies further away*

*On the opposite side of the castle*

**Christie: ***Relaxes enough to turn human* *Pulls phone out. Dials Danny* Come on, come on, pick up!

*Danny picks up*

**Danny: **Hello? _Christie?_

**Christie: **Danny! You need to get here, and quick!

**Danny: **What!? What's wrong?

**Christie: **Well, there's these like wizard dudes, and they're attacking me, they all have these like, British accents or something, and for whatever reason, they keep calling me a 'muggle'!

**Danny:** Ummm… okay then… Well… where are you?

-Yo Greyback! Get yo head out of the gutter!-

**Greyback: ***Pulls arm out from between two bars* Well that didn't work. I can't say I'm disappointed. I didn't feel like eating that….So, where's the Dark lord?

**Bellatrix: ***Runs off, finally stopping outside the headmasters study*

**Gargoyle: **Password?

**Bellatrix: **Oh, get out of the way! *Slashes wand, slicing the head off the gargoyle statue* There's your password! Come on! *Runs up the stairs with Greyback just behind her* *Reaches the top, bursts into the room and pants*

**Voldemort: **News? Of the muggle? What happened to it? *Twirls wand between fingers, red sparks shoot out of the end of it*

**Greyback: **Disappeared. I was gonna eat her…

-Roaming Charges!-

**Danny: **Well... Judging by the fact that your roaming charges are about a million bucks. I'm gonna say you're practically on the other side of the world…

**Christie: ***Pauses* British accents… Maybe I'm in Great Britain! … How fast can you get here?

**Danny: ***Appears next to her* Pretty fast.

**Christie: **Whoa! *Blinks* Geez, you coulda told me you could teleport!

**Danny: **Well… I can *Smiles [Like a troll]*

**Christie: **Jerk.

-While in the Head-

**(Picture) Dumbledore: **Well, well, well…Tom. What are you doing here? *Looks down out of frame at Voldemort*

**Voldemort: **Ah. Dumby... If only I could tell you. Where has Severus gotten to?

*Snape- standing in GH, watching McGonagall, Slughorn, Flitwick, and Sprout enter GH*

**Sprout:** What has happened in here? *sees dead children around Hall, eyes lingering upon Harry* SEVERUS! What HAVE you done!?

**Slughorn: ***rubs stomach* Ah, Severus. Nap time, I see. *Magics a sleeping bag and gets in it, lying on the floor* Can you tell me a story?

**McGonagall:** Horace! Get up, you lump! Can't you tell these children are dead! WAIT!? Dead?!

**Flitwick: ***Puts hand over heart and slips down wall* What… has happened? Did you do this?

**Snape:** *Runs out of the GH, heading for the head's office* Here I am!

**Voldemort: **Good. Now we need to act. What to do with the Muggle? Speaking of, where has it gone?

**Greyback: **Um…through a wall…

**Voldemort: **Through a wall? Then it's no Muggle, you idiot.

**Belleatrix: **What do you mean?

**Voldemort: **Well, obviously no normal _muggle_ can walk through walls. Either it's a ghost, or some bizarre kind of wizard.

**Bellatrix: **Then what are we supposed to do? And why are we bothering with her in the first place?

**Voldemort: **Yes, Draco, Why?

**Draco: ***Realizes that Voldemort's gazing at him, turns away and looks out the window* No reason…

-LUMPYYY!-

**Sprout: **Get _up_ Horace! We need to find out what has happened. These children…*passes out*

**Slughorn:** *Gets up from floor, pulling himself out of his sleeping bag* Minerva? What do we do now?

**Flitwick: **We shall search the school to find these children's attackers! Pomona, Lump! Come!

**McGonagall: ***Runs out of the GH with Flitwick, Sluggy panting along behind them* Where to?

**Nearly Headless Nick:** Professors! In the Headmaster's Study! You-Know-Who! Come!

**Flitwick: **He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?! Here in Hogwarts?! We must save the students! Wait..umm… *breaks down crying on the ground*

**McGonagall: **Filius! Pull yourself together man! What do we do?!

**Flitwick: **Why are you asking me? Maybe the lump can tell you what to do. I-I am going to stay here.

**Slughorn: **Ummm… I have to… umm… go...*Runs out the front doors*

-YES, THEY'RE MAGIKS!-

**Danny: **So… You're telling me that these people can do… magic?

**Christie:**That's what it seems like…

**Danny: **Awesome~!

**Christie: ***Facepalms* Can you focus!? You're so scatter-brained!

**Danny: **Hey! I resent that!

**Christie: **Let's just go, Clueless One. *Flies through roof*

**Danny: ***Sighs and flies after Christie*

-SHALLN'T!-

**McGonagall: **Why am I always stuck doing everything on my own? *Reaches the gargoyle that guards the Headmaster's office, seeing it broken in two on the ground* May I? *The wall behind the gargoyle's feet reveals a spiral staircase behind it* *Jumps on, making way to the top* *Enters room, seeing Voldemort, Greyback, Bellatrix and Malfoy* You shall do no more murder here- But I shalln't! AVADA KEDAVRA!

**Voldemort: ***Gives a mirthless laugh before causing the curse to rebound upon its originator* Ha!

**McGonagall: ***Jumps out of the way as the green jet of light from her wand shoots straight at her heart, landing on the floor with a thud*

**Christie: ***Abruptly flies in* Back off, you fudgelump!

**Danny: ***Flies in as well* Yeah, what she said!

**Voldemort: ***Laughs insanely (then again, he's always been insane... this is normal for him…)* CRUCIO! *Laughs 'normally' as the two fall to the floor writhing in pain*

**Draco: ***Stands there looking slightly repulsed, but doesn't say anything, for fear of being attacked*

**Bellatrix: ***Joins in Voldemort's insane laughter*

**Greyback: ***Sits on a chair, rubbing his whiskers*

**McGonagall: **STUPEFY! *The spell misses Voldemort, hitting Bellatrix in the face, who falls over backwards*

**Hermione: **Well, hello there! Hmm…What's going on? RON! *Yells down the stairs to Roonil*

**Ron: **What Hermione? *Runs up the stairs, kisses Hermione, then turns around and sees Voldemort (laughing insanely…), Bellatrix (on the ground) Greyback (stroking his whiskers) McGonagall, Malfoy, and Christie and Danny (writhing on the floor)* Umm…

**Hermione: **Goodness. We run off to the bathroom for one hour, and already the whole school's dead and Harry's asleep, and…Voldemort! How've you been?

**Voldemort: **Well…quite well, Hermione. You see, your dear friend, Harry, is *Pauses for effect* dead.

**Ron: ***Gasp*

**Hermione: ***Starts bawling her eyes out*

**Ron: **Wait... who is that? *pointing to the writhing ones*

**Voldemort: **Well, those are our dear friends, umm... who are they again?

**Draco: **Well… The girl said she was Christie Knight…and the boy... well, he just sorta floated in…

**Ron: **Cool…

**Voldemort: **Well…this…is…awkward.

**Sprout: ***Bursts in the office* I just woke up from the strangest dream! All the children were dead, and... and... Voldemort… it... wasn't a dream… was it..?

**Hermione: ***Still crying*

**Ron: ***Walks over and pokes the still writhing Danneh* Umm…is he... okay?

**Voldemort: ***Looks down* Possibly…or not...

**Snape: ***Feels ignored, disappears and walks around Honeydukes, shopping for sweets*

**Hermione: ***Finally stops crying* Oh well. I didn't care for him anyway... This makes it a lot less awkward for us, Ron!

**Ron: **Yeah…*hugs Hermy-Own-Ninny*

**Danny: ***Screeches like a girl in pain*

**Bellatrix: ***Comes to, pulling herself off the floor* Ah, the mudblood has returned!

**Hermione: ***Throws Ron to the floor, pulling out her wand and turning to Bellatrix*

**Ron: ***Dusts himself off* Wow, thanks Hermione…

**Voldemort: **HELLO! I think _I'm_ supposed to be the evil one here! Right!?

**Ron: ***To Voldemort* If you want a kiss too, just say so…*Leans towards him*

**Hermione: ***Slaps Ron across the face* HELLO! Your best friend's just been killed, and now you're hitting on his murderer!

**Draco: **Um, for the record, _I_ killed Harry…you can't give _him_ all the credit! *Crosses arms and pouts like an angry child*

**Hermione: ***Runs forward and pats Draco on the back* It's okay, we're so proud of you! You are so...wait a moment! You MURDERER! *Starts doing ballet*

**Ron: ***Hands Hermione her tutu* She does this a lot…

**Hermione: ***Does a pirouetting leap into Voldemort's arms* Dada?

**Voldemort: **I AM NOT YOUR FATHER! DO I LOOK LIKE A MUGGLE TO YOU?!

**Hermione: **Well... honestly, you look a bit like a creeper, with aspects of snake and-

**Voldemort: **Silence!

**Ron: **She's got a point, you know…

**Voldemort: **You know what... Crucio! *Watches Ron writhing on the floor with satisfaction*

**Christie: ***Stops writhing (as well as Danny)* Huh? *Shaking* Wha-what happened?

**Danny: **And why do I feel like I was screeching like a girl in pain?

**Draco: **Because you were.

**Voldemort: **Where did Snape go? *lifts the rug off the floor, searching for Snape*

**Hermione: **I don't think he's under there…Mr. um... Mort...

**Voldemort: **Mort? Were did that come from?

**Danny: **That dudes name is Mort? Honestly, that doesn't sound like the name of an evil dude. Huh..

**Hermione: **Well...you know… I feel odd calling him by his name, and…*Rambles on*

**Ron: ***Sits up after pretending to writhe on the floor* Well, I could totally go for an ice cream right about now…What about you Voldy? What kind do you want? I think I'll get a chocolate!

**Danny: **Just as long as it's not toast flavored!

**Ron: **What do you expect? Bertie Bott's every flavor ice cream?

**Christie: **Who's Bertie Bott?

**Voldemort: **Your mum!

**Greyback: **Ooohh! Burn!

**Bellatrix: ***Makes sizzle noise!*

**Christie: **How 'bout this for a burn? *shoots ectoblast at Voldy*

**Ron: **So, that's one chocolate, one anti-toast, and…

**Christie: ***Stops beating up Voldemort* I wanna…strawberry!

**Ron: **Whatta 'bout you, Hermione? Bet you want…chicken noodle soup flavored ice cream!

**Hermione: **Yup!

**Voldemort:** guess I'll take…death by chocolate!

**Christie: **Nobody asked you! *Punch*

**Bellatrix: **I wanna vaniller!

**Greyback: **Ummm…well, usually, I go to the Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Ice Cream Emporium for my ice cream…can I get blood?

**Ron: **Ummm…I suppose… So that'll be one chocolate, one anti-toast, one '_vaniller_,' one death by chocolate, one chicken noodle soup, a strawberry, and…blood…is that everything?

**Hermione: **Yeah! Can I go with you?!

**Voldemort: **You know what? I think it's time to break up the couple, here…I will go with the ginger and get our cold flavored dairy products.

**Hermione: **What about you and Bella? You know how she crushes on you so bad when her hubby is sitting RIGHT NEXT TO HER!

**Voldemort: ***Blushes*

**Bellatrix:** How do you know?!

**Christie and Danny: **BELLA & MORTY SITTING IN A TREE!

**All but Voldy and Bella:** K-I-S-S-I-N-G!

**Voldemort:** You shall all perish!

**Ron: **Can I perish next Tuesday? I've got a thing…

**Bellatrix: ***Holds Voldemort's hand* So, that's it! We are going to get your ice cream, and we _won't_ poison any of it.

**Christie: **Well, _that's_ reassuring…

**Hermione: **My mummy told me not to eat sketchy ice cream…

**Danny: **Oh, but sketchy _toast_ is fine…*Rolls eyes*

**Voldemort: **Well, Adios! We're going to Cancun on holiday!

**Ron: **But…what about my ice cream?!

**Voldemort: **Have _Harry_ bring it to you! *Smirk*

**Ron: **Hey, Malfoy! Do you want any- WAIT! You killed my Harry! I'm gonna kill you! HAGRID!

**Hagrid: **What? *Appears out of thin air* Do you need me to sit on anyone else?

**Ron: **Yes-

**Christie: **Well…is it time to wake up from this crazy dream yet?

**Ron: **Not quite! *Takes off robe, revealing pink fluffy bunny suit beneath it* WE GONNA GET FUNKY!

**Danny:** Someone kill me! NOW!

**Hermione:** Ronnie! Why did you take my bunny suit! You know I need that! So what? Eating Harry's last ever breakfast wasn't enough? You had to steal my Bunnebs too!

**Ron: **You named it BUNNEBS?

**Hermione: **Well, at least I don't have a Harry doll! That I sleep with!

**Christie: **Okay, I'm… I'm just gonn-gonna go…NOW! *Flies out of room*

**Danny: **Look what you did! She can withstand anything!

**Hermione: **Well… obviously not _everything…_

_**END OF CHAPTER 1!**_

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**Teddy-Lupin: **Well, There's our first chapter! Sorry, we went a bit OOC, especially with Hermione...But... All reviews are greatly appreciated, and more chapters will be up (hopefully) soon! Please check out our other stories! Anything to add, Erialc?

**Phantom-Rose: **No, not really... Oh yeah. I did make Danny have a vandetta against toast... So... Oh, and 'Baggy' and 'Erialc' are our code names... Yeah, let's go with that!

Please R&R~! =D


	2. Chapter 2

**PR: **Heyo everybods! How's it going? I don't really have much to say at the beginning, so I'll pass the 'mic' to Baggy. *Passes imaginary mic to cousin*

**TL-S:** That's right! We're back! And we brought you more HPxDP and insanity! Hope you enjoy this chap! Please R&R :D

**_MANDATORY DISCLAIMER: _****Neither I (PR) nor Baggy owns any of the characters here, except for Christina Knight, and our spazzy selves of course.**

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**Tucker**: Hey, Sam… do you know where Danny went? He sorta just got a phone call and left. And who could've called him? We're his only friends!

**Sam**: Ummm…..You think I know?!

**Tucker**: Well…YEAH! You know EVERYTHING!

**Sam**: *Rolls eyes*

**Tucker**: Especially about Danny! I've seen you watch him sleep!

**Sam**: How would you know that? You go to bed early!

**Tucker**: Oh, why! Because I eat meat? And it's not because I wake up in the middle of the night and sneak to his room to watch him, too…

**Sam**: Of course not.

**Tucker**: *Randomly brings up topic* Hey remember that one movie? With that guy…

**Sam**: Oh, that's descriptive.

**Tucker**: His name was like…Mort or something…

**Sam**: Voldemort?

**Tucker**: Yeah! That's it!

**Sam**: And why exactly did you bring that up?

**Tucker**: Cause Danny just texted me a picture of him…

**Sam**: Wow! Danny gets cell service there?

**Tucker**: Apparently, but he's gonna have a heck of a phone bill…

**Sam**: Yeah, cause the movie theater is so far away…

**Tucker**: No, he's with the guy…

**Sam**: What?

**Tucker**: You heard me! YO DANNY! Teleport me! I want his autograph!

**Sam**: *Rolls eyes*

-MORT! GIMME YO AUTOGRAPH!-

**Voldemort**: And why exactly did you take a picture of me?

**Hermione**: Wait. Muggle devices like that don't work here at Hogwarts…

**Ron**: We're at Hogwarts? Strange… Hogwarts Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts! Teach-

**Hermione**: *Pulls off sock and stuffs in Ron's mouth* Lunch time!

**Ron**: YES!

**Danny**: Well…it's working…

**Tucker**: *Appears at Danny's side* Hey…where am I? OOHH! Mort! Can I have your autograph?

**Voldemort**: Who is this red beret-ed fool?

**Tucker**: Tucker. Tucker Foley. That's TF, as in Too Fine.

**Sam**: *Appears at Tucker's side, rolling eyes* DANNY!

**Ron**: Teach us something please! Whether we be old and bald (like Dumbledore) or young with scabby knees!-

**Hermione**: RON! EAT YOUR SOCK!

**Christie**: Wait, I thought I flew away?

**Tucker**: Apparently the authors decided to drag you back in here…

**Christie**: Fun. *Sarcastic*

**Voldemort**: So…who wants to have a dinner party! I'll bring the casserole!

**Hermione**: I thought you were leaving for Cancun?

**Bellatrix**: Well, we didn't have money for an airline ticket…

**Hermione**: You DO realize you can Apparate? Right?

**Bellatrix**: Well…Miss Question All finally has a few answers, does she~! *Disapparates-with Voldy*

**Ron**: THERE ONCE WAS A BOY NAMED HARRY! WHO DIED IN THE GREAT HALL! VOLDY KICKED HIS DEAD FACE! AND THEN WE ALL PARTAYED!

**Draco**: That doesn't work…

**Ron**: We can make it work! You get the party decorations, and I'll get the bean dip!

**Danny**: And when did you get here, anyway?

**Draco**: Well since I'm obviously NOT appreciated, I'm going off to Honeydukes…Maybe I can get Snape to buy me candy!

**Christie**: Hey! Get me some candy too! *Shakes head* Nevermind… I'm gonna leave now… Hopefully the authors (who are controlling our lives) will let me stay off-screen. For a moment, at least.…

**Danny**: Good luck!

**Hagrid**: I'll just sit here on the floor, out of the way…*sits right in the middle of the room. The floor creaks underneath him, then collapses* AHHH!

**Ron**: Well…Another one bites the dust…literally...

**Tucker**: DUN, DUN, DUN, ANOTHA ONE BITES THE DUST! DUN, DUN, DUN, ANOTHA ONE BITES THE DUST! AND ANOTHA ONE GONE AND ANOTHA ONE GONE- *Eaten by random dragon*

**Hagrid**: NORBERT? IS THAT YOU? *yelling through ceiling*

**Hermione**: Umm…Hagrid... I don't know how to say this…but Norbert's a girl…

**Hagrid**: WHA?

**Ron**: Yeah! Charlie sent me a letter back when I was still sane…they call her Norberta now…

**Danny**: Well, BYE HAGRID! Get OUTTA here!

**Sam**: How do you know his name?

**Danny**: I've watched the movies...

**Harry**: Wait... there are MOVIES?

**Hermione**: Didn't you know? Wait…you're dead, Harry.

**Harry**: Yeah, Voldemort Killed me…

**Draco**: HE DID NOT! I WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED YOU!

**Ron**: Harry, please do everyone a favor, and just LEAVE! NO one loves you!

**Sam**: Harsh…

**Ron**: SHE LOVES ME! NOT YOU! NOT VOLDEMORT! ME! [The she is Hermione…]

**Harry** **and** **Ron**: *catfight*

**Ron**: That'll teach you to mess with my LADAY! Now go be dead like you're supposed to. BE DEAD LIKE YOUR PARENTS.

**Harry**: *Cries in corner, then apparates back to Great Hall, lying on floor, dead…forever! Again…*

**Christie**: And… I'm back again. … Why is there a dragon in here? *pauses* Nevermind. I don't wanna know.

-Meanwhile, on the beach in Cancun-

**Voldemort**: *is sitting on the beach, holding hands with Bellatrix in the sunset…a lei around his **neck**…it's pink…*

**Bellatrix**: ~Voldy I love you, Voldy I do! If my husband weren't my husband, I would marry you~!

-AWK AUTHOR NOTE!-

**Mysterious** **author** **voice** **one** **[Phantom-Rose]**: You ship them so hard, don't you?

**The Best Mysterious Author Voice EVER! [Teddy_Lupin (Baggy)]:** Yes... yes I do. But I bet no one but me's noticed that in DH CH1, Bella is totally hitting on him, and no doubt her hubby is RIGHT NEXT TO HER! I mean SERIOUSLY! Get a room!

**PR**: Okay… I'll just go back to writing the story while you fangirl over them… *turns attention to readers* by the way, I'll be in here in a few seconds, shamelessly promoting a DannyxMe pairing. Ta!

**TL**: Why don't you just help Hagrid out of the floor, while I go to Honeydukes and find Draco… FTR we TOTALLY make a cuter couple! DracoxGabby FOREVA!

**PR**: *Le sigh* I feel no need to drag a giant out of the floor. BRB, I'll be making out with Danneh,

**TL**: Well, My Draco is totally HOTTER! ~~Story mode now~~

**PR**: ~~Not yet Baggy~~ Well, duh! Danny has ice powers! But, he's also incredibly adorkable and cute! ~~story mode now~~

**TL**: NOT QUITE! You know Draco's totally fierce! And a death eater! YUM! But Draco means DRAGON! SOUP!

**PR**: Yeah. Well, does he have the ability to fly? NO! So ha! Imma go kidnap Danny now... And are you even a Death Eater?

**TL**: Not yet… I'm waiting on my DE BF! Plus, I saw an ad that said 'Shaving Can Cause Dark Marks'…for the record…it didn't work… :(

**PR**: Stop using the emicons. You're making this more awkward than it already is.

**TL**: Well I was the one to make it awk before! SO HA! *does funky dance* ~~~OKAY! LEGIT STORY NOW!~~~

-'Resumation' of Story! And yes! I made that word up!-

**PR**: *Randomly pops up* Sup, Danneh!

**Danny**: You said my name wrong…

**PR**: No I didn't.

**Sam**: Who are you anyway?

**TL**: JKDBVOLABFO-

**PR**: 'OW YOU DOIN', Gabri?

**TL**: Alhdfnpighnav Agikne~ YO DRACO! WHERE R U, FOOL! LET ME LOVE U! *CHASE SCENE* I JUST WANNA MAKE OUT IN HONEYDUKES!

**PR**: Uhmm… Good luck, I'll go do my part now!

**Danny**: And that would be…?

**PR**: *Creeper smile*

**Danny**: Oh dear goodness….please don't be me!

**PR**: But that would be a lie, now wouldn't it?

**Danny**: Hey… didn't Val say that that one time..?

**Sam**: I think you have a stalker, Danny.

- Gimme Yo Dungbomb-

**TL**: Okay, so don't tell Gonnie, but I need to throw another Dungbomb or two in her office..it's been nearly an hour since the last time I did…I don't want to lull her in a false sense of security… I only got one detention last time…wanna help?

**PR**: *KJVHIJDFHN; OV HAPORFVHOIZSHRGFIOVRJSTJGLFK DHSGVKNXCKMVNKSDFJG* HEY LOOKIE ITS NOTWORKING AWO9EDBPlinblrfozcM NDSJFBKDJSBF SAD

**TL**: THAT'S WHERE I LEFT MY PANTS! I've been looking everywhere!

**PR**: Ummm… #immagostalkdannehmorekaybye

**TL**: *Turns into a ninja, pulling on her talking pants* The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma. YAY! Bob le` Sponge!

**Draco**: So… who are you again?

**TL**: I am your other half. I have been searching for you. All of my life. I need you. You. Complete. Me. Be the 3 in my . Show me your less than three!

**Draco**: 3

**TL**: You make my life paradise!

-In another equally awkward place…-

**PR**: Qwertyuiop. Asdfghjkl. Zxcvbnm. They are the reason you should date me.

**Danny**: No.

**TL**: Querty-u-i-op. As-defer-jikle. Zis-ka-fu-ba-nim. YEAH!

**Danny**: Still no.

**PR**: HEY! WE ALMOST AT FOUR THOUSAND WORDS~ OH AND HEY! IM STALKING YOU AND THIS IS VERY CRAZY; BUT HERES A BISCUIT, SO DATE ME OR I'LL KILL YOUR FAMILY.

**TL**: Well, that's pleasant…I guess… but I kinda just want your biscuit. So, it was great going out with you while it lasted, but I have to break up with you...

**PR**: *munching on live goldfish* Yumm...there's a bone in here!

**Voldemort**: Qwertyuiop[**_ass_**dfghjkzxcvbm,

**PR**: HEY THAT BISCUIT IS FOR DANNEH! IT'S MY ENGAGMENT GIFT!

**Danny**: ...I think I'll just leave now... *Tries to sneak away*

**TL**: Wow, I can see you care. You know how much dough it took to get that? (Haha, punny!)

**PR**: Hey! I had that buscuit mixed with gold shavings!

**Sam**: Okay, where the heck did you get a gold buscuit? *Pauses* And why did I let that dragon eat Tucker? WAIT UP, TUCK, I'LL SAVE YOU! *Tackles dragon*

**Voldemort**: LKAJSBDFLKJABSVKNZCDJNAWIFLU AVNCSCXNADISUFNEWICDAJNFKSAC KDJSNFVFSHIT

**TL**: Oh yeah! there's a dragon! Fun! And why didn't you get _me _a golden biscuit?

**PR**: Fine. HERE'S A BISCUIT! *Throws biscuit at you* Danneh didn't want it anyway... Speaking of Danny... *Starts running after him* COME BACK HEEERRRREEEE!

**Sam**: *Finally beats dragon into submission* *Pulls Tucker out* There, you're alive. Now help me save Danny from his crazy stalker!

**Tucker**: *Wipes dragon drool off* Danny has a stalker?

**TL**: *Catches biscuit* Yes, and she's a mighty stalkerish one too!

**Tucker**: O_O Where did she come from?

**Sam**: No clue. Lets just warn Danny and scare away that stalker once and for all! *Glares at PR*

**PR**: *Still running after Danny* You know, I bet this would be a lot less entertaining if we had kept with the seriousness of it. *Tackles Danny*

**TL**: YO DRACO! You know your name means Dragon!

**Draco**: What?

**Tucker**: *Stops by him for a second* I think you have a stalker too.

**TL**: Draco, he's right...*creepy look*

**Sam**: TUCKER! HELP ME GET HER OFF DANNY!

**Tucker**: Gotta go! *Runs off again*

**Me**: BACK OFF! HE'S MINE! IF YOU DON'T BACK OFF, I'LL PUT ON ARAGON'S AMULET! THEN YOU'LL HAVE ANOTHER DRAGON TO DEAL WITH!

**Draco**: *Trys to sneak away*

**Sam**: Where did you get the Amulet?! That thing was in the Ghost Zone!

**PR**: I'm not the all-powerful-author-voice-one for nothing, you know. *Pulls out Amulet and twirls it around finger*

**TL**: WAIT! I thought I was the all-powerful-author-voice-ONE...You can be two. And -to Draco- there is NO way you can get away from me. I'm the one writing the life story of your son, here!

**Draco**: I have a son?

**PR**: No... You were Best-Author-Voice-EVER, I'm Author voice one!

**Danny**: Sorry to interupt such a _thrilling _argument, but WILL YOU PLEASE UNTIE ME!?

**PR**: NO.

**TL**: Draco, of course you have a son. But it doesn't stop me loving you. MExDRACO! My OTP! And Danny, you're already tied up, silly.

**Sam**: *Facepalms* I guess we're gonna hafta do this the hard way... *Pulls out Fenton Wrist Ray* Get. Away. From. Danny. NOW!

**PR**: You asked for it. *Puts on amulet, turning into a dragon* ROOOOAASDSFKDNSKFKSJSKJDKSAD JSKDASKFJSKJFHSKAJFKJAAARRRR RR~~~~!

**Danny**: *Tries to worm away while tied up*

**TL**: OH MY GOD! You're a dragon! You would think that I would know that... *walks over to Danny, poking his writhing body* hehe..

**Sam**: O_O''" I think... we should... run... like... NOW! *Runs away*

**Tucker**: *Screeches (like a girl in pain) and runs too*

**PR**: ROOOOAAAARRRRR! SKJFLASKJFKSJSDKznXCMSNFIJDS NFKSJANDKAJFKSAFNCKJDN! *Chases after them*

**Danny**: _;; Can you stop poking me!?

**TL**: No, I can't. *keeps poking Danny, then gets bored, walking over to the Erialc dragon, petting her*

**PR**: *Purrs, rubs dragon head against Baggy* *Shrinks down and turns back into a human*

**TL**: So, where's my birthday present? And when will we bring Snape back?

**PR**: *Blinks* Birthday present? ...But it's not your birthday... right? And sure. *Snaps fingers, making Snape appear*

**Sam** **and** **Tucker**: *Sneaks over to Danny, untying him*

**PR**: NOW TIME FOR A COLDPLAY CONCERT! *Fist pumps*

*A wild Coldplay appears*

**TL**: Who says it has to be my birthday for me to get birthday presents? *sees Snape and squeals like an excited pig* YAYAYAYAYAYAYAY!

**Me**: *Narrows eyes* Then Coldplay ish your present. *Starts rocking out*

**Sam**: *Whispers* Danny, teleport us outta here! We need to get away from this nutjob!

**Danny**: While I'd love to get away from her, she has the amulet! Who knows what could happen with a crazy person like that on the loose!

**TL**: -to Danny and Sam- And she sure is crazy. *Pets Draco's head* Lucky for you, you have a mentally sane person here to assist you. ME!

**Tucker**: ... Somehow, I doubt _she's_ mentally_ sane._

*Danny, Sam and Tucker sneak off to corner*

**Sam**: So, what's the plan? Just get the amulet from her and go?

**Danny**: ... Pretty much. *Shrugs* I'm going ghost! *Goes ghost* *Flies toward me*

AAAAANNNNNDDDD END OF CHAPTER TWO~

* * *

**PR: ***Watches as the few people who liked this story run away in terror*


End file.
